back as a ...

returning home for the first time after 18 days, i felt quite glad to be back. however, the intensity of feeling happy wasnt as high as those days in the past (e.g. OBS, sch annual camp). 18 days away, i am supposed to spend more time at home to replace the time lost which i wasnt in the house. unfortunately, the v nxt day, i went out in the afteroon, stayed over at lsd's house, returning home like 24++ hours later. the sense of attachment to the house is decreasin? or am i jus tryin to evade the discussion abt my "future".

the 18 days away changed me a little. - i am unsure how true this statement is. it is kinda losing contact w the outside world. returning home w 5 days of rest, not knowing wat i shud do next. life isnt as organised as the 18 days. no more rules to follow, no more deadlines to meet. procastination at my own pace = unhealthy.

before the 18 days, island life was described as tough, rigorous training, "unreasonable" instructors. i kinda dislike the idea of landing on the island on a monday. however, i really appreciated the arrangement. welfare is the word. i dun mind spending a few more days on the island. life isnt tt tough as i had expected. simply sensational.

it was a enjoyable experience. hanging arnd w ppl of a diff race. new perspectives of ppl, new ideas. different personalities and behaviours - enriching experience. schooling days will be much more exciting if my schs have a proportionate racial mix. anyw, it doesnt matter anymore. talkin abt schooling - kinda disappointing.

no medicine. to think abt it, i din want medicine only after receiving the A lvl results. it took me quite a few weeks to decide wat courses to choose. convincing myself i am a healer or anythin related to tt. XD mayb it is the amt of time spent in deciding to apply for med which makes me feel kinda demoralised. grades din make the mark. thanx to Project Work (3).

no doubt i am disappointed not gettin shortlisted. however, some others deserve more "sympathy". peiyi, aspired to be a doc since i duno when, din get it too cos of the 3 for Project Work. mayb sympathy isnt the right word to use here. jus tt if i feel really disappointed, imagine how worse she felt.

18 days on the island in a room w 12 other ppl, it really broaden my horizons abit. it was quite fascinating to know ppl who apply for telecommunications or media kinda courses. it was a 1st time exp to know someone who is keen on a course most of the ppl i know wouldnt take. from this, it only tells one thing, my network of frens is too small. the network only consists of ppl generally of the same interests and stuff. i need to know more, really alot more.

spending time alone is always the best to reflect n review. i should be nicer to my mom, she wants to talk to me abt the uni and education stuff. frankly speaking, it is a complete turn off. i dun want to discuss abt those stuff now. my aunt is coming over later - this means more discussions.

for now, i cant be "carefree" n relaxing. mayb it is due to the 18 days. always on high alert, ready for any instructions. be blur and u "die".. kindness days are over. =S

now, i am having the "qk's block" again. nothin to write XD
well.. i'll stop for now.

care for qk!