let all unpleasant things be left unrecorded in text but remains forever in memories.. the past 1 month has been outrageous horrible.. maybe only the last few days have been good for the soul.. good things come when one does nasty things..
totally transformed into a punk! since army uses the phrase "play punk"..
i also didnt really expect i am doing that, leave + MC.. anyw, whats done is done.. it actually felt good doing something "not right".. well was flamed when i got back to camp, but who cares?! lol.. i enjoyed my rest at home while the rest werent resting..
now there's like one thing in my mind, there's training on my bday.. that sux!
time to face the reality too, the NUS letter has come, let's see how far can bio-engineering get me.. or how much $ can bio-engineering get me?! lol..
i didnt mean to PS, when i woke up it was alr VERY late.. haha.. great that some ppl had fun on sat (maybe i'm still recovering from the stun on friday).. it's kinda sad to miss a gathering w penguin.. i guess everyone is doing fine now.. in life some ppl's lives are better, i know i am the fortunate kind but every once in a (lot of)while(s), the trash comes to me..
at least today i am feeling great even though i have to book in.. lol..
Monday, December 8, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
a photo
here i have a picture of my "stay" in aus. it is one of the postable photos, or i should say ONLY postable photo. haha.
enjoy, the charismatic qk with some "holy" and "divine" aura trying to pat a totally snubbing wallaby or small kangeroo.
people say a picture says a thousand words, truly enough, even animals reject me. thanks!
enjoy, the charismatic qk with some "holy" and "divine" aura trying to pat a totally snubbing wallaby or small kangeroo.
people say a picture says a thousand words, truly enough, even animals reject me. thanks!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
random events again
computers nowadays are a chore. the laptop decided to throw tantrums. after a disk defragmentation, it made a choice to stay as a black screen forever. switching off the mains and restarting produced the exact same results - black screen. i just hope that it can recover by itself, which is highly impossible. however, it's always good to have hope. hope is equivalent to being optimistic. i dont wish to spend money to fix on technological gadgets anymore. on the other hand, this laptop is definitely necessary for university, which is like no faraway. considering the financial strength of my family, i rather not spend excessively on these equipment. what a dilemma for my over-rested brain.
far away from these troublesome issues, i remembered certain interesting things about a friend i made, a national jc muslim chinese or chinese muslim. it doesnt really matter to me or him. when watching max payne, he jumped from his seat and "screamed" in the cinema when a villian appeared from the darkness to strike the lead actor. that's comical! during the flight back, when the air stewardess offer to pour ice water to his cup. he retracted his cup and the water flowed right, ONTO his friend seated on his right - which was ME, instead of INTO his cup. that was equally comical but really unpleasant for me.
i must admit i have a really extraordinary mom who never fails to annoy me. it's not that i dislike her, but she is definitely as irritating as fly (although she claims it's untrue and really disrespectful, i beg to differ). i shall not elaborate on how her constantly nagging, asking of questions on issues which really did not concern her and her unusually intelligent way of viewing things (which i see as really unintelligent). anyways, she's a great mom who ALWAYS express her feelings to me like how much she missed me when i was away. it's out of the world mushy, i didnt really expect that from a mom. eeeks and yucks! no wonder i have no girlfriend, my mom's aura is preventing them from reaching me. that's not really something i would like. i wonder how would it be like if i really got a girlfriend?! actually i experienced it before, just that she didnt. sigh. forget about girlfriends as for now, it's never an issue i wish to bring up. given the fact i had been listening to emo songs all along, it is easy to trigger that lonely feeling. but anyways, i still have my games to entertain/distract me.
good day, i will be good and hope the laptop decides to wake up from the black screen. be a good laptop!
far away from these troublesome issues, i remembered certain interesting things about a friend i made, a national jc muslim chinese or chinese muslim. it doesnt really matter to me or him. when watching max payne, he jumped from his seat and "screamed" in the cinema when a villian appeared from the darkness to strike the lead actor. that's comical! during the flight back, when the air stewardess offer to pour ice water to his cup. he retracted his cup and the water flowed right, ONTO his friend seated on his right - which was ME, instead of INTO his cup. that was equally comical but really unpleasant for me.
i must admit i have a really extraordinary mom who never fails to annoy me. it's not that i dislike her, but she is definitely as irritating as fly (although she claims it's untrue and really disrespectful, i beg to differ). i shall not elaborate on how her constantly nagging, asking of questions on issues which really did not concern her and her unusually intelligent way of viewing things (which i see as really unintelligent). anyways, she's a great mom who ALWAYS express her feelings to me like how much she missed me when i was away. it's out of the world mushy, i didnt really expect that from a mom. eeeks and yucks! no wonder i have no girlfriend, my mom's aura is preventing them from reaching me. that's not really something i would like. i wonder how would it be like if i really got a girlfriend?! actually i experienced it before, just that she didnt. sigh. forget about girlfriends as for now, it's never an issue i wish to bring up. given the fact i had been listening to emo songs all along, it is easy to trigger that lonely feeling. but anyways, i still have my games to entertain/distract me.
good day, i will be good and hope the laptop decides to wake up from the black screen. be a good laptop!
Monday, November 3, 2008
back from aus
i've been back for about 3 days alr. it takes time to recover from the slow pace lifestyle in australia and adapt to the "new" environment. i hasnt been communicating or getting in touch with many people yet. for the females, most of them are preparing for their exams, i doubt they want me as a distraction since my nonsense is never-ending and really time consuming. as for the males, i am too busy fixing fifa 2009 (which i finally did) and setting up the router (which i didnt succeed). besides fixing and setting up, i have been playing games alone.
i requested lsd to perform a house visit on me, but he never really did. nevermind that, he has got things to do too.
random event: i am listening to 丁文琪 - 骗子 now. it's a really old song. at least 5 to 6 years old. i wonder if she's still singing nowadays.
back from sidetracking, i would like to say that the trip to australia was "fun" at least. i managed to travel on a few new transports like helicopters, armoured vehicles and australian coaches. i managed to experience some wonderful activities like basking under the hot australian sun while lying on the australian grass and soil, shivering under the australian moon when the temperature drops to australianly 10 degrees or so.
i was enlightened on why one needs to buy travel insurance. when one goes overseas, one is bound to meet with some form of accident. thanks, when a metal box hit against a tree, i joined in the party and hit a part of the metal box. woohoo. i was rewarded with 2 minor cuts near the lip. one on the exterior while the other was in the mouth. so much for partying! thankfully, i recovered in time from the inner cut to taste the delicious food during the real fun part of the trip.
let me list down of the extraordinary events that happened:
1.i saw some bush fires which were actually a bush fire.
2.i saw some homosapiens showing disrespect to other homosapiens.
3.i saw myself getting into awkward situations for a few times, always with my superiors
4.i saw myself getting a few extras for trying to concentrate on a storybook - anyway i deserved it
5.i saw myself making a few new friends
6.i saw myself losing my temper at certain people or groups of people
7.i saw myself getting away from certain mistakes. woohoo (this is the best part)
let's proceed to the extremely enjoyable part of the trip
shopping! something which i dont really enjoy.
to all my friends and relatives (if you know the existence of this page), i didnt get you any present! woohoo!
i bought myself a softtoy rabbit. it is a must to purchase a softtoy!
i got myself a novel too. after 3 days of reading just 40 odd pages, i realise it was a great deal since it costs only around aussie $6. it's the kind of book i like. i am a genius!
i watched a $12 film. it was really expensive but max payne definitely helped me killed time as much as the number of homosapiens he killed.
i was treated to a drink (5% alcohol) by bernard :D really nice of him since i kept taking his stuff for my personal usage!
i stayed in a resort motel. you can say it is jus a normal motel situated in a resort. it was no where near resort. but nontheless, it was better than tentage and sand. at least there was concrete.
i cant wait for examinations to end for a certain community, so we can go out. i will have to wait till next sat for my legs to start kicking some shins, erm i mean ball.
p.s. for those who missed me dear, learn from dennis, dream of me. muahahaha!
i requested lsd to perform a house visit on me, but he never really did. nevermind that, he has got things to do too.
random event: i am listening to 丁文琪 - 骗子 now. it's a really old song. at least 5 to 6 years old. i wonder if she's still singing nowadays.
back from sidetracking, i would like to say that the trip to australia was "fun" at least. i managed to travel on a few new transports like helicopters, armoured vehicles and australian coaches. i managed to experience some wonderful activities like basking under the hot australian sun while lying on the australian grass and soil, shivering under the australian moon when the temperature drops to australianly 10 degrees or so.
i was enlightened on why one needs to buy travel insurance. when one goes overseas, one is bound to meet with some form of accident. thanks, when a metal box hit against a tree, i joined in the party and hit a part of the metal box. woohoo. i was rewarded with 2 minor cuts near the lip. one on the exterior while the other was in the mouth. so much for partying! thankfully, i recovered in time from the inner cut to taste the delicious food during the real fun part of the trip.
let me list down of the extraordinary events that happened:
1.i saw some bush fires which were actually a bush fire.
2.i saw some homosapiens showing disrespect to other homosapiens.
3.i saw myself getting into awkward situations for a few times, always with my superiors
4.i saw myself getting a few extras for trying to concentrate on a storybook - anyway i deserved it
5.i saw myself making a few new friends
6.i saw myself losing my temper at certain people or groups of people
7.i saw myself getting away from certain mistakes. woohoo (this is the best part)
let's proceed to the extremely enjoyable part of the trip
shopping! something which i dont really enjoy.
to all my friends and relatives (if you know the existence of this page), i didnt get you any present! woohoo!
i bought myself a softtoy rabbit. it is a must to purchase a softtoy!
i got myself a novel too. after 3 days of reading just 40 odd pages, i realise it was a great deal since it costs only around aussie $6. it's the kind of book i like. i am a genius!
i watched a $12 film. it was really expensive but max payne definitely helped me killed time as much as the number of homosapiens he killed.
i was treated to a drink (5% alcohol) by bernard :D really nice of him since i kept taking his stuff for my personal usage!
i stayed in a resort motel. you can say it is jus a normal motel situated in a resort. it was no where near resort. but nontheless, it was better than tentage and sand. at least there was concrete.
i cant wait for examinations to end for a certain community, so we can go out. i will have to wait till next sat for my legs to start kicking some shins, erm i mean ball.
p.s. for those who missed me dear, learn from dennis, dream of me. muahahaha!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
saturday 1 day of fun
i reiterate - i hate ppl who are constantly late! weeloon u suck, u are never on time, no wonder u have no gf.. yueting wont like u in a 100 years.. everytime go out muz make me wait..
got a pair of court shoes for S$70. money well spent at least, i showed whose the boss with tt pair of shoes. it is always money worth spending if it aids in the display of my arrogance..
i duno wats w the boarding sch guys, they wait for their turn to play by sitting behind the goal, waiting to get whacked.. they do play w organisation, the passing, the build up.. but it's quite predictable.. mayb they need more experience, playin with other kind of players.
my team won 5 games straight. the boarding sch kids made the game competitive.. they quicken the pace, with one or two really physical players.. well if u are of a bigger build, when u charge at me, i still can understand it is jus a normal shoulder charge. when u are my build, u charge at me as if u were a big size fella, u are jus telling me u wanna play aggressive and physical.. annoying..
anyw, tt guy's physical approached helped me scored my 1st goal. he charged at me while i was dribbling, i lost my balance, regained it in time to whack a ball at the GK.. it jus went in even though it was a tight angle shot. the ball hit the GK's hand and deflects into the bottom corner of the goal. too bad. my goal! i totally love the expression on the face of the guy who shoulder charged me.. i guess he thought he got me, but he didnt know this famous formula - ANGER + new SHOES + MATCH EXP = I WIN, U LOSE, LOSER!
my 2nd goal was a simple dribble into space and shoot, the run wasnt really nice (i didnt have the dribbling feel), the shot was jus a normal straight shot, the reason it went in was becos no one expected me to shoot. muahaha.. the GK was rooted, he didnt even react.
my 3rd goal was quite "brilliant". i made the decision to shoot once i crossed halfcourt. probably the defender anticipated me to run down the left (which i had been doin everytime i got the ball from my half), he simply shifted back to limit the areas i can run. too bad, it simply gave me more space to have the confidence to shoot. toe poke, ole that defender straight into the goal. GK didnt even move.. they were left stunned again.. muahaha..
anyw, i got a swollen ankle from blocking john's shot. his shot really stung me hard.. ouch.. now it's better..
went to royston's house after that.. winning 11 and munchkins. enjoyable but tiring. i cant believe our argentina can lose to T&T, the AI jus wanted us to lose.. open goal no pressure, normal tapping of shot, AI helps us sky the shot. thanks.. lost out on penalties..
i want more of these saturdays.. no more booking in kinda shit! cant wait for the CAMP life to end..
got a pair of court shoes for S$70. money well spent at least, i showed whose the boss with tt pair of shoes. it is always money worth spending if it aids in the display of my arrogance..
i duno wats w the boarding sch guys, they wait for their turn to play by sitting behind the goal, waiting to get whacked.. they do play w organisation, the passing, the build up.. but it's quite predictable.. mayb they need more experience, playin with other kind of players.
my team won 5 games straight. the boarding sch kids made the game competitive.. they quicken the pace, with one or two really physical players.. well if u are of a bigger build, when u charge at me, i still can understand it is jus a normal shoulder charge. when u are my build, u charge at me as if u were a big size fella, u are jus telling me u wanna play aggressive and physical.. annoying..
anyw, tt guy's physical approached helped me scored my 1st goal. he charged at me while i was dribbling, i lost my balance, regained it in time to whack a ball at the GK.. it jus went in even though it was a tight angle shot. the ball hit the GK's hand and deflects into the bottom corner of the goal. too bad. my goal! i totally love the expression on the face of the guy who shoulder charged me.. i guess he thought he got me, but he didnt know this famous formula - ANGER + new SHOES + MATCH EXP = I WIN, U LOSE, LOSER!
my 2nd goal was a simple dribble into space and shoot, the run wasnt really nice (i didnt have the dribbling feel), the shot was jus a normal straight shot, the reason it went in was becos no one expected me to shoot. muahaha.. the GK was rooted, he didnt even react.
my 3rd goal was quite "brilliant". i made the decision to shoot once i crossed halfcourt. probably the defender anticipated me to run down the left (which i had been doin everytime i got the ball from my half), he simply shifted back to limit the areas i can run. too bad, it simply gave me more space to have the confidence to shoot. toe poke, ole that defender straight into the goal. GK didnt even move.. they were left stunned again.. muahaha..
anyw, i got a swollen ankle from blocking john's shot. his shot really stung me hard.. ouch.. now it's better..
went to royston's house after that.. winning 11 and munchkins. enjoyable but tiring. i cant believe our argentina can lose to T&T, the AI jus wanted us to lose.. open goal no pressure, normal tapping of shot, AI helps us sky the shot. thanks.. lost out on penalties..
i want more of these saturdays.. no more booking in kinda shit! cant wait for the CAMP life to end..
Sunday, September 28, 2008
this was how it went
what happened yesterday
- met up with weeloon yesterday.
- went chevrons to purchase items required for the trip. my credits is left with 50 plus now. sad
- watched painted skin with weeloon, i think i finally made a gd choice over "my best friend's girl". i will talk about the film later.
- went to imm to have an ice cream dessert. it's kind of comical when 2 guys sit down and enjoy their dessert while commenting on the waitress, the other customers.
talking about the film painted skin. it is more of a romance film than a horror flick, though it was adapted from a horror literature. it's all about love.
complicated relationships.
- met up with weeloon yesterday.
- went chevrons to purchase items required for the trip. my credits is left with 50 plus now. sad
- watched painted skin with weeloon, i think i finally made a gd choice over "my best friend's girl". i will talk about the film later.
- went to imm to have an ice cream dessert. it's kind of comical when 2 guys sit down and enjoy their dessert while commenting on the waitress, the other customers.
talking about the film painted skin. it is more of a romance film than a horror flick, though it was adapted from a horror literature. it's all about love.
complicated relationships.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
some pp are jus hopeless
i am exasperated!
i just kb him yst abt his phone to the extent i couldnt take it anymore and took off to go home.
the very nxt day, i receive calls
"hi i am dinesh's father, sgt david asked him to come back camp but my son is not feeling well.."
i wonder why when he gives an order, i am the on the receiving end of the parent.
when i asked him to contact david,
"i tried but his phone was uncontactable" thanks david!
so i requested him to call the company to get him.
after a few minutes, the company called me
"qk can u get david, csm wanna see him. he cant be reached."
i wonder whats my role, messenger? relay station?! hello i am taking a break at home?! cant someone give me some peace?!
i feel like strangling someone
i just kb him yst abt his phone to the extent i couldnt take it anymore and took off to go home.
the very nxt day, i receive calls
"hi i am dinesh's father, sgt david asked him to come back camp but my son is not feeling well.."
i wonder why when he gives an order, i am the on the receiving end of the parent.
when i asked him to contact david,
"i tried but his phone was uncontactable" thanks david!
so i requested him to call the company to get him.
after a few minutes, the company called me
"qk can u get david, csm wanna see him. he cant be reached."
i wonder whats my role, messenger? relay station?! hello i am taking a break at home?! cant someone give me some peace?!
i feel like strangling someone
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
it's just 1 plus days
i've only been back for 1 day plus and i feel suffocated. everythin was fine at first but my relationship with david is really getting from bad to worse.
on learning that my appointment is that of a "man" instead of a "commander" really do dishearten me a little. the main problem still lies with the fact that david is in charge. i guess it is my ego at work, i cant stand working under some guy i deem less capable than me, or rather someone who works but leaves a mess for me to settle.
when he is in charge, i dont see a reason why everyone has to approach me when it concerns our team. the leader should be the one being approached, to me, i see myself as jus a worker with more responsiblilities.
i know i am bitching about him now, but i really dont care! i am fed up!
i really cant stand it anymore, his "unreasonable" nature.
1) insisting not on having a good image, contented with his blur style
2) behaving and acting on his own interests
3) inconsiderate and insensitive comments and actions
4) always remain uncontactable - when u need him, u feel frustrated, when others need him, they will get to me, which annoys me!
5) remained at status quo even though i requested him to change nicely
6) remained at status quo even though i yelled and kb him
today i had a tiring time teaching a slow learner, my patience is really getting to my limit and i dont see my prospect of being in the education career. finally when i get to rest, things start to come one by one. one phone call followed by another.
anyw, i was appointed unwillingly to join some lame challenge. unnecessary physical training. life sux! i need to stay at home to breathe in some fresh air.
thats why i took off and went home.. my battery runs low too quickly recently..
on learning that my appointment is that of a "man" instead of a "commander" really do dishearten me a little. the main problem still lies with the fact that david is in charge. i guess it is my ego at work, i cant stand working under some guy i deem less capable than me, or rather someone who works but leaves a mess for me to settle.
when he is in charge, i dont see a reason why everyone has to approach me when it concerns our team. the leader should be the one being approached, to me, i see myself as jus a worker with more responsiblilities.
i know i am bitching about him now, but i really dont care! i am fed up!
i really cant stand it anymore, his "unreasonable" nature.
1) insisting not on having a good image, contented with his blur style
2) behaving and acting on his own interests
3) inconsiderate and insensitive comments and actions
4) always remain uncontactable - when u need him, u feel frustrated, when others need him, they will get to me, which annoys me!
5) remained at status quo even though i requested him to change nicely
6) remained at status quo even though i yelled and kb him
today i had a tiring time teaching a slow learner, my patience is really getting to my limit and i dont see my prospect of being in the education career. finally when i get to rest, things start to come one by one. one phone call followed by another.
anyw, i was appointed unwillingly to join some lame challenge. unnecessary physical training. life sux! i need to stay at home to breathe in some fresh air.
thats why i took off and went home.. my battery runs low too quickly recently..
Sunday, September 21, 2008
a short stay at home
it feels gd.. the bed is truly wonderful..
zzz.. i need to socialise.. with whom? i really dont know..
zzz.. i need to socialise.. with whom? i really dont know..
Friday, September 19, 2008
the course is ending!
i hate to say this, the wonderful course is ending!
no more 8 to 5. no more stayout!
i dont really feel like goin back. i read this somewhere, it takes jus a week to pick up a habit. yeah. i picked up a lot of wonderful habits this week. 10 am is breakfast break. it is a must. 11 plus is lunch and you only return at 1330. after that is somewhat like a nap in the aircon room then you go home at around 1530 to 1730. no more waking up at 0530. sigh. this is really wonderland!
wat a nice night to spend with my old pals. the gang which always stay out late and doesnt really wanna go home. playing winning 11 and got verbally abused. taking public transport with the certain someone home again, priceless!
saturday duty. i dont know if it is a wise decision to get it. a SLACK week, monetary and comfort incentive, alternative WORK i will be doin at home, his r/s issue are the driving force to my YES. anyw i agreed to it, so i will keep my promise. a promise is a promise.
i dont want to return to 1SIR
no more 8 to 5. no more stayout!
i dont really feel like goin back. i read this somewhere, it takes jus a week to pick up a habit. yeah. i picked up a lot of wonderful habits this week. 10 am is breakfast break. it is a must. 11 plus is lunch and you only return at 1330. after that is somewhat like a nap in the aircon room then you go home at around 1530 to 1730. no more waking up at 0530. sigh. this is really wonderland!
wat a nice night to spend with my old pals. the gang which always stay out late and doesnt really wanna go home. playing winning 11 and got verbally abused. taking public transport with the certain someone home again, priceless!
saturday duty. i dont know if it is a wise decision to get it. a SLACK week, monetary and comfort incentive, alternative WORK i will be doin at home, his r/s issue are the driving force to my YES. anyw i agreed to it, so i will keep my promise. a promise is a promise.
i dont want to return to 1SIR
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
before i book in
to a certain someone..
i am not as EMO as you think i am..
:D
stay happy n try to enjoy the "hectic" lifestyle
p.s. this time u dun have an EMO with u on the bus ride home..
i am not as EMO as you think i am..
:D
stay happy n try to enjoy the "hectic" lifestyle
p.s. this time u dun have an EMO with u on the bus ride home..
Monday, September 1, 2008
...
i wonder who is free to "entertain" me.. haha
i wonder who is free to spend time with me.. haha
i wonder who is free especially when i am free.. haha
the transformation to the mega irritant is gonna end soon.. i dont have enough spirit to sustain the irritant mode, soon i'll be back to emo king.. zzz
emo king..
i wonder who is free to spend time with me.. haha
i wonder who is free especially when i am free.. haha
the transformation to the mega irritant is gonna end soon.. i dont have enough spirit to sustain the irritant mode, soon i'll be back to emo king.. zzz
emo king..
Saturday, August 30, 2008
a case of exaggeration
i guess wednesday's situation can be described as discovering one has the earliest stage of cancer. a case which can be solved. the call i received was somewhat trying to reflect on how serious the issue can blow up to if it wasnt discovered and solved early. i think i handled it quite calmly, wasnt really shaken when i heard i might be charged.
finally the batt was pressurized to give a break. 2+3 days of break. it's really more or less for rest and recovery, esp that ahm. 21km wasnt fun at all. it drained half of my life. chem def and crossing water was quite ok. i need more quality time with people. mayb i shall try visiting my friends (impossible task)
friends
friends
friends
finally the batt was pressurized to give a break. 2+3 days of break. it's really more or less for rest and recovery, esp that ahm. 21km wasnt fun at all. it drained half of my life. chem def and crossing water was quite ok. i need more quality time with people. mayb i shall try visiting my friends (impossible task)
friends
friends
friends
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
out of nowhere.
i hope the issue which came out of nowhere will be settled by tonight.
i hope i wont get implicated as what i was told.
charge - the worst case scenario
for me
i dont think i am that lucky to get that.
working for such a system isnt safe at all.
well, my "mistake" can get others into trouble too.
sadly tragically unknowningly
i hope i wont get implicated as what i was told.
charge - the worst case scenario
for me
i dont think i am that lucky to get that.
working for such a system isnt safe at all.
well, my "mistake" can get others into trouble too.
sadly tragically unknowningly
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
it's been quite a long time since..
i blogged!
these few weeks contained quite a number of surprises.
1. learning that i was selected to go for another course. however, it appears that my name wasnt in the list so far. thats really something i wished
2. wearing the MATAS again. this time it was much more comfortable. however the load i carried wasnt really light. i guess i had a pretty decent attempt performing the role of sect comd and gunner. maybe the distance walked wasnt really that much but i managed to tank the weight.
3. people "arrowing" me to do things. people not helping by doing things differently against the rules. people who always bend the rules but insist that i should not. sometimes nsf really doesnt have much say.
today i lost my cool. it is like filling a glass with water. once the water is reaching the brim, someone pours away the water with anger. once again, it can start to be filled again. i admit it is a lousy analogy but anyways, this negative cycle keeps me alive in a miserable place. yeah, 1sir is a miserable place.
today i had a 16km run in the ECP. the run was enjoyable when the few of us ran together, waited for each other. the company of your friends is one of the main factors to keep you going during the mundane run. returning home was really nostalgic.
i asked her for directions and having a chance to talk to her was simply marvelous. seeing the places we went to before near her formal residence brought back wonderful memories. it is the rare few times we could meet which made these memories so unforgetable. flashbacks flood to me resulted an "emo" qk now. lol.
how i wish i could stay at home and not report back to camp. how i wish i could call her tonight and have a chat. haha. that's just my wishful thinking. haha. today is pleasant enough to let me sleep in peace. let's hope for a better tomorrow!
these few weeks contained quite a number of surprises.
1. learning that i was selected to go for another course. however, it appears that my name wasnt in the list so far. thats really something i wished
2. wearing the MATAS again. this time it was much more comfortable. however the load i carried wasnt really light. i guess i had a pretty decent attempt performing the role of sect comd and gunner. maybe the distance walked wasnt really that much but i managed to tank the weight.
3. people "arrowing" me to do things. people not helping by doing things differently against the rules. people who always bend the rules but insist that i should not. sometimes nsf really doesnt have much say.
today i lost my cool. it is like filling a glass with water. once the water is reaching the brim, someone pours away the water with anger. once again, it can start to be filled again. i admit it is a lousy analogy but anyways, this negative cycle keeps me alive in a miserable place. yeah, 1sir is a miserable place.
today i had a 16km run in the ECP. the run was enjoyable when the few of us ran together, waited for each other. the company of your friends is one of the main factors to keep you going during the mundane run. returning home was really nostalgic.
i asked her for directions and having a chance to talk to her was simply marvelous. seeing the places we went to before near her formal residence brought back wonderful memories. it is the rare few times we could meet which made these memories so unforgetable. flashbacks flood to me resulted an "emo" qk now. lol.
how i wish i could stay at home and not report back to camp. how i wish i could call her tonight and have a chat. haha. that's just my wishful thinking. haha. today is pleasant enough to let me sleep in peace. let's hope for a better tomorrow!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
trust
i've placed quite a lot of trust on a few number of people.
i hope my they wont betray it and get me into a really difficult position.
i do have faith in them. just hope that they dont "stun" me.
misplace my trust and i will become really nasty again.
i hope my they wont betray it and get me into a really difficult position.
i do have faith in them. just hope that they dont "stun" me.
misplace my trust and i will become really nasty again.
Monday, July 28, 2008
why am i always the lucky one?
when bad luck befall on someone, it is a reflex for him/her to lament on his/her misfortune. i wonder if i am living for others or for myself, it seems like recently my life revolves around other, helping them at my own expense. some tells me that it's my duty (double meaning) but what's with this nonsense?! it cant always be me?!
thanks david again, out on attachment. this time on a even more relaxing task, training for running. a daily routine of waking up late, go for runs and training and then back to relaxing. regimental duties are left undone and replaced by his own HQ personnel. to be frank, there is only one person in HQ who is eligible to replace him, one and only me. apart from the regimental duties, his own responsibilities as the PS are passed to me too. it is my duty! my duty!
csm's planning isnt really helpful to me either. why cant he spread my duties and not lump them together in a week or so. 31july, 3aug and 6aug - 3 guard comds with a sunday duty. this is coupled by my aunt's special request to help my cousin who isnt interested in studies but somehow has to take PSLE this year. i just somehow do not understand why he doesnt have that sense of urgency to do well since it is his own examination.
i have to play the role of a babysitter to sit with him and observe him study, teaching him whenever he doesnt know, pass some exam technique and teaching him how to logically think to formulate an answer. facing a disinterested person for an entire is totally like consume slow poison, sucking your vitality bit by bit. remember, my health point (HP) isnt really high after a week in camp. weekend is supposed to be for consuming potions and resting in inns, not to further to decrease my HP. it is not like i have a healer in my party (normally a pretty girl). thanks solo-ing in games arent really effective, it's the same in reality.
helping my cousin is a duty, responsibility according to my mom, thanks the word DUTY comes again. so if my duty is to help others do certain tasks, whose duty is it to help me?!
just look at the past week. it is supposed to be a long weekend, fri sat sun and mon :D wow! fri taken by david's duty. even when i am on duty, CSM doesnt fail to exploit me by asking me to help him tally points and type out the DUTY roster for August at my free time at night while he is relaxing at home. i was supposed to help my cousin on saturday but due to fatigue and being sick, i decided to rest at home. when you are sick, you really dont enjoy much. fri sat gone with sun given to my cousin, which means gone too. monday (today) i couldnt find anyone to go out with, because who will be available on a weekday?! i will spend my day alone at home with the computer or the bed. sigh. it's totally not cool.
then wat about next week when i only have fri sat sun. with a sunday DUTY, it is practically friday night, sat morning till night then i'll book in to prepare for the duty. sigh. i want to have the saturday for myself, or should i give it to my cousin. i totally dont think my life should be this way. it's really negatively screwed up.
Q - the ultimate tanking machine
thanks david again, out on attachment. this time on a even more relaxing task, training for running. a daily routine of waking up late, go for runs and training and then back to relaxing. regimental duties are left undone and replaced by his own HQ personnel. to be frank, there is only one person in HQ who is eligible to replace him, one and only me. apart from the regimental duties, his own responsibilities as the PS are passed to me too. it is my duty! my duty!
csm's planning isnt really helpful to me either. why cant he spread my duties and not lump them together in a week or so. 31july, 3aug and 6aug - 3 guard comds with a sunday duty. this is coupled by my aunt's special request to help my cousin who isnt interested in studies but somehow has to take PSLE this year. i just somehow do not understand why he doesnt have that sense of urgency to do well since it is his own examination.
i have to play the role of a babysitter to sit with him and observe him study, teaching him whenever he doesnt know, pass some exam technique and teaching him how to logically think to formulate an answer. facing a disinterested person for an entire is totally like consume slow poison, sucking your vitality bit by bit. remember, my health point (HP) isnt really high after a week in camp. weekend is supposed to be for consuming potions and resting in inns, not to further to decrease my HP. it is not like i have a healer in my party (normally a pretty girl). thanks solo-ing in games arent really effective, it's the same in reality.
helping my cousin is a duty, responsibility according to my mom, thanks the word DUTY comes again. so if my duty is to help others do certain tasks, whose duty is it to help me?!
just look at the past week. it is supposed to be a long weekend, fri sat sun and mon :D wow! fri taken by david's duty. even when i am on duty, CSM doesnt fail to exploit me by asking me to help him tally points and type out the DUTY roster for August at my free time at night while he is relaxing at home. i was supposed to help my cousin on saturday but due to fatigue and being sick, i decided to rest at home. when you are sick, you really dont enjoy much. fri sat gone with sun given to my cousin, which means gone too. monday (today) i couldnt find anyone to go out with, because who will be available on a weekday?! i will spend my day alone at home with the computer or the bed. sigh. it's totally not cool.
then wat about next week when i only have fri sat sun. with a sunday DUTY, it is practically friday night, sat morning till night then i'll book in to prepare for the duty. sigh. i want to have the saturday for myself, or should i give it to my cousin. i totally dont think my life should be this way. it's really negatively screwed up.
Q - the ultimate tanking machine
Saturday, July 19, 2008
i am falling sick
thanks to the dusty environment coupled by the fact i am not really hygenie conscious during outfield training, i am falling sick! it is quite ironic to call it training since i spent most of the time sitting down in the training shed waiting for the day to end. there isnt any equipment available for my section to train, happy men will sit around and slack which means a further drop in discipline and an increase in the laze around attitude.
this job isnt good at all. now i experienced the support from my superiors, the cooperativeness of my peers and the obedience of the man under me. thanks! even in the 3 man team, i am trying my best to link the other 2 together while trying to adjust myself to each of them. i jus hope that the 3 of us can manage our tone well. it is all the work of our tones during talking which spark up an argument.
sigh..
hope everyone is doing well. i will get well soon too :D
this job isnt good at all. now i experienced the support from my superiors, the cooperativeness of my peers and the obedience of the man under me. thanks! even in the 3 man team, i am trying my best to link the other 2 together while trying to adjust myself to each of them. i jus hope that the 3 of us can manage our tone well. it is all the work of our tones during talking which spark up an argument.
sigh..
hope everyone is doing well. i will get well soon too :D
Sunday, July 6, 2008
1 mth later..
i realise i was too lazy to jot down the details of my life for the past one month, so here i am, once again to update you folks!
the course has officially ended and i can gladly say that i made friends with a bunch of great people. although there are ones who constantly threaten to lock me into the cupboard, ones who insist i am stalking on his cousin, ones who still owe me something, my buddy whose aim throughout the course is to disturb me till i cry and many many more to name.
this course ends and the next begins, going back to charlie again makes me feel quite apprehensive. it's been 1 month i last saw my men and i missed out on quite a number of tough trainings with them. what i hope to achieve when i get back is to restructure the discipline of the section and drill them on their basics which most people deem as unimportant and can be ignored. i hope my plan can work out by injecting my new ideas slowly but forcefully. this means i expect quite a lot of resistances and complaints from my men, or even fellow commanders. zzz. everything's gonna be alright :D
watching mvs on youtube. i just come across this cantonese song with this lyrics.
曾经与你散步过几公分， 就算一公分 相差千里也胜过别人
i guess this is one way to feel good about yourself. so Ah Q.
i went out on friday to celebrate wanling's birthday (although i didnt give her anything. i guess when we become older, being there is one of the best gifts since you are not always free to be there too, she should be contented lol). after that i went out with the course pals, 5 of us totally enjoyed ourselves that night. anyways, it brought back some great memories given on the things we talked about.
treasure what you once have, memories kept should be pleasant. :D
the course has officially ended and i can gladly say that i made friends with a bunch of great people. although there are ones who constantly threaten to lock me into the cupboard, ones who insist i am stalking on his cousin, ones who still owe me something, my buddy whose aim throughout the course is to disturb me till i cry and many many more to name.
this course ends and the next begins, going back to charlie again makes me feel quite apprehensive. it's been 1 month i last saw my men and i missed out on quite a number of tough trainings with them. what i hope to achieve when i get back is to restructure the discipline of the section and drill them on their basics which most people deem as unimportant and can be ignored. i hope my plan can work out by injecting my new ideas slowly but forcefully. this means i expect quite a lot of resistances and complaints from my men, or even fellow commanders. zzz. everything's gonna be alright :D
watching mvs on youtube. i just come across this cantonese song with this lyrics.
曾经与你散步过几公分， 就算一公分 相差千里也胜过别人
i guess this is one way to feel good about yourself. so Ah Q.
i went out on friday to celebrate wanling's birthday (although i didnt give her anything. i guess when we become older, being there is one of the best gifts since you are not always free to be there too, she should be contented lol). after that i went out with the course pals, 5 of us totally enjoyed ourselves that night. anyways, it brought back some great memories given on the things we talked about.
treasure what you once have, memories kept should be pleasant. :D
Friday, May 30, 2008
the COURSE..
a wk has gone.. i am still goin strong.. getting to know ppl from other units, it jus widen my horizons.. i understood one simple concept, it is not the vocation or training sch is fk up, it is jus the person himself who sux.. those who always want to procastinate.. those who jus wan to get allowance for doin nth.. those who are irresponsible and dont even complete their required tasks.. those are the suckers who disgrace the entire human race..
as expected i received some scolding, but unfortunately for things i din even expect.. i thought my packing was gd (effective) but it wasnt appealing appearance wise hence being labelled FK UP, worst packer.. lol.. someone has to voice out disappearance of equipment due to negligence of ppl, getting it back earlier (along the way back is definitely better than goin back to camp den reporting loss) nvm, i expected to get fk oso even though i wasnt at fault..
had been quite a joker for the wk, always doin the presentations and coming out w classic lines in the course.. think on the bright side, at least i entertained some ppl along the way in the boring course so far..
guardsmen are to be respected bcos of their unity which is their ultimate strength.. physically wise they are strong, mentality strong too.. lastly is tt willingness to absorb the "shit" which comes along the way since someone has to clear it.. now i really quite despise my unit more, even though the specs there get quite an amt of "shit", the comd mostly arent really tt "up" to face them positively.. i am somewhere there too.. somehow have to improve too..
i'm happy i made some new frens.. jus like wat dennis said, u get real buddies from this course.. hopefully i will "enjoy" more
as expected i received some scolding, but unfortunately for things i din even expect.. i thought my packing was gd (effective) but it wasnt appealing appearance wise hence being labelled FK UP, worst packer.. lol.. someone has to voice out disappearance of equipment due to negligence of ppl, getting it back earlier (along the way back is definitely better than goin back to camp den reporting loss) nvm, i expected to get fk oso even though i wasnt at fault..
had been quite a joker for the wk, always doin the presentations and coming out w classic lines in the course.. think on the bright side, at least i entertained some ppl along the way in the boring course so far..
guardsmen are to be respected bcos of their unity which is their ultimate strength.. physically wise they are strong, mentality strong too.. lastly is tt willingness to absorb the "shit" which comes along the way since someone has to clear it.. now i really quite despise my unit more, even though the specs there get quite an amt of "shit", the comd mostly arent really tt "up" to face them positively.. i am somewhere there too.. somehow have to improve too..
i'm happy i made some new frens.. jus like wat dennis said, u get real buddies from this course.. hopefully i will "enjoy" more
Saturday, May 24, 2008
yawn.. a new challenge
today is sat.. tmr is sun.. den it is mon! the start of a new challenge.. a challenge i really wont want to have.. it is futile to curse n swear why i got it (actually i noe, i am responsible n handle my duties w care)and i have to get ready for the intense "shit" tt is coming up for the next 6 wks.. i foresee i can make a few new buddies cos u only make real frens when u go thru "shit" tog..
i guess my life so far is still quite peaceful.. i hope another storm wont come so soon cos i am not really in the mood to turn into a serious person yet. i still want to enjoy a bit more..
it's been a long time we had a sec class gathering.. cos i never "initiate" so it never happened? haha i am not so "great" to tt extent.. bored.. i shall stop
i guess my life so far is still quite peaceful.. i hope another storm wont come so soon cos i am not really in the mood to turn into a serious person yet. i still want to enjoy a bit more..
it's been a long time we had a sec class gathering.. cos i never "initiate" so it never happened? haha i am not so "great" to tt extent.. bored.. i shall stop
Friday, May 16, 2008
start on a high note.. end on a v v low..
the start of a pleasant day ending in a miserable manner is way to common for me nowadays. planning can be done really well but unexpected things jus pops out randomly to surprise u and destroy the mood.
taking a half day off was well paid off w a simple lunch w great pals u've never seen so long. yushan esp, i guess i do like her presence alot. haha. she's the first girl i talk to in j1 during intro in class.
i thought i made a wise decision not to go sing w cy n head straight back to camp. i made it jus in time, the coy changed the timing of the run n thanks no one really informed me. i always thought it was 1630hrs but the fall in timing was 1515hrs. i had a mere 15 min to prepare.
the run wasnt up to standard thanks to the lunch. haha. i felt like vomitting. in the end i was one of the last few in the coy to reach the finishing line. at least i was within the 30 minute passing time. i said gdbye to the remedial training n said hi to vomitting in the toilet. haha.
my plans for a night movie was abruptly cancelled due to i oso duno wat (tiredness of the participants). nvm. i am tired too, but the prospect of meetin frens n enriching my social life is really medicinal - possessing great healing and recovery abilities.
i was disappointed w it though, i can i say i desperately wanted to spend time w my frens, or girls.. haha.. (horny, bian tai, sicko, pervert) i am a nice person afterall.
mom spoils it all by initiating the discussion abt uni again. frustrating to the core. frankly speaking i am shag out w the 5km run n tt 8k route march the day b4. why the fk in this world does my mom wants to know every fk thing i do. wat fkin pleasure does she derive from knowing. she wants to know who i go out w. how many ppl goin for the gathering. where. fk all these irrelevant info. she isnt the one attending the gathering. y the fk she wanna know everythin. FKING irritating.
pardon all the fk. i jus got into the really annoyed mood. a few F and Ks is jus a weak attempt to demonstrate how irritated i am w this uncomfortable situation. i really want my stay at home back from camp peaceful, quiet and enjoyable. my mom muz irritate me to end up both of us feeling really bad.
her perspective is always she talks to me nicely n i rejects her and shoo her away. she talks 2 me becos she cares for me, so becos of this "care" i have to "suffer" and disrupt my relaxation.
if i am really tt bastardly selfish, i would jus say she is the selfish one. i can always see her tryin to feel secure knowing how i plan my future so tt she did her job as a mom to "supervise" the son's path in life. she did her fair share (although not really practical - for show only)
however, i am not tt idiotic n i feel guilty for being nasty to her.. but who really can sympathize w me?
i always say i need a gf. actually i dun need a gf. i jus need a person i can talk to, who is willing to listen to my rambling. but who will listen to all these "senseless complains which will arrive at no conclusions"? the only person who is silly enuf to hear all these happily will be someone in love, otherwise, one will jus find me a nuisance (machine gun etc).
the gf is a person who will always be there to care for u. sympathise w u even though sometimes u might be wrong. blindlessly support u and cheer u up in any manner. someone who sacrifices for u willingly w/o wanting any return except the smile u display or ur laughter.
some ppl turn to religion (god) for the support, i think i can survive on my own - creating a similar support by myself (jus by imagination). it is harder though, someday i will master the act of self deception. i will no longer feel blue. i will be ORANGE for the entire day. GET HIGH!
taking a half day off was well paid off w a simple lunch w great pals u've never seen so long. yushan esp, i guess i do like her presence alot. haha. she's the first girl i talk to in j1 during intro in class.
i thought i made a wise decision not to go sing w cy n head straight back to camp. i made it jus in time, the coy changed the timing of the run n thanks no one really informed me. i always thought it was 1630hrs but the fall in timing was 1515hrs. i had a mere 15 min to prepare.
the run wasnt up to standard thanks to the lunch. haha. i felt like vomitting. in the end i was one of the last few in the coy to reach the finishing line. at least i was within the 30 minute passing time. i said gdbye to the remedial training n said hi to vomitting in the toilet. haha.
my plans for a night movie was abruptly cancelled due to i oso duno wat (tiredness of the participants). nvm. i am tired too, but the prospect of meetin frens n enriching my social life is really medicinal - possessing great healing and recovery abilities.
i was disappointed w it though, i can i say i desperately wanted to spend time w my frens, or girls.. haha.. (horny, bian tai, sicko, pervert) i am a nice person afterall.
mom spoils it all by initiating the discussion abt uni again. frustrating to the core. frankly speaking i am shag out w the 5km run n tt 8k route march the day b4. why the fk in this world does my mom wants to know every fk thing i do. wat fkin pleasure does she derive from knowing. she wants to know who i go out w. how many ppl goin for the gathering. where. fk all these irrelevant info. she isnt the one attending the gathering. y the fk she wanna know everythin. FKING irritating.
pardon all the fk. i jus got into the really annoyed mood. a few F and Ks is jus a weak attempt to demonstrate how irritated i am w this uncomfortable situation. i really want my stay at home back from camp peaceful, quiet and enjoyable. my mom muz irritate me to end up both of us feeling really bad.
her perspective is always she talks to me nicely n i rejects her and shoo her away. she talks 2 me becos she cares for me, so becos of this "care" i have to "suffer" and disrupt my relaxation.
if i am really tt bastardly selfish, i would jus say she is the selfish one. i can always see her tryin to feel secure knowing how i plan my future so tt she did her job as a mom to "supervise" the son's path in life. she did her fair share (although not really practical - for show only)
however, i am not tt idiotic n i feel guilty for being nasty to her.. but who really can sympathize w me?
i always say i need a gf. actually i dun need a gf. i jus need a person i can talk to, who is willing to listen to my rambling. but who will listen to all these "senseless complains which will arrive at no conclusions"? the only person who is silly enuf to hear all these happily will be someone in love, otherwise, one will jus find me a nuisance (machine gun etc).
the gf is a person who will always be there to care for u. sympathise w u even though sometimes u might be wrong. blindlessly support u and cheer u up in any manner. someone who sacrifices for u willingly w/o wanting any return except the smile u display or ur laughter.
some ppl turn to religion (god) for the support, i think i can survive on my own - creating a similar support by myself (jus by imagination). it is harder though, someday i will master the act of self deception. i will no longer feel blue. i will be ORANGE for the entire day. GET HIGH!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
here i am again!
so long never write anything on this piece of writing platform..
now i'm oso having a block.. a mega block..
inertia :D nice topic.. so random
when u get used to something.. den it is really hard to change.. 8-5 course for 1 wk, den u really dun wanna work in camp.. when it is 5:30pm, the body clock auto shuts down.. time to go home!!
when u are not attached for a long time.. u may want to be attached but in the end u dun wanna start another r/s (tts so true!) abit nonsensical but the greatest new of all time!! my home TV set jus declared unfit for duty! it died..
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
i really have a malfunctioning family.. i need to get my life straight first w NS out of the way.. i declare i prefer to stay at home! (who doesnt?)
now i'm oso having a block.. a mega block..
inertia :D nice topic.. so random
when u get used to something.. den it is really hard to change.. 8-5 course for 1 wk, den u really dun wanna work in camp.. when it is 5:30pm, the body clock auto shuts down.. time to go home!!
when u are not attached for a long time.. u may want to be attached but in the end u dun wanna start another r/s (tts so true!) abit nonsensical but the greatest new of all time!! my home TV set jus declared unfit for duty! it died..
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
i really have a malfunctioning family.. i need to get my life straight first w NS out of the way.. i declare i prefer to stay at home! (who doesnt?)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
making mistakes at the most appropriate times!
silly me! how careless too!
finally i RE-applied for uni.. isnt tt a great thing! this time another incident occurs.. thanks to my carelessness (not reading carefully and assuming everything is too simple) ya ya big ego!
now i have 3As and 2Bs, when i shud have only 3As and 1B.. when was i exempted from Mother Tongue by MOE?! haha.. now i have to produce documents to support tt exemption! even the online application form is v helpful, they gave me some hope as they allow amendments even after u've submitted the form.. yeah, changes to course options.. how?!
i guess i can jus relax n get ready to call tml to see if anythin can be done..
choosing the right career is too hard a decision to make now.. i am nt tt mature really.. growing up.. growing up..
peaceful life w/o worries =D this life wont come! haha..
i will do wat i like in future..
anyw, arsenal really got tt fighting spirit.. they deserve praise.. man utd is jus on a high, i really wish them all the best in EPL n use all their luck in winning the league, European Cup, haha.. it will be AS ROMA's! muahahaha..
finally i RE-applied for uni.. isnt tt a great thing! this time another incident occurs.. thanks to my carelessness (not reading carefully and assuming everything is too simple) ya ya big ego!
now i have 3As and 2Bs, when i shud have only 3As and 1B.. when was i exempted from Mother Tongue by MOE?! haha.. now i have to produce documents to support tt exemption! even the online application form is v helpful, they gave me some hope as they allow amendments even after u've submitted the form.. yeah, changes to course options.. how?!
i guess i can jus relax n get ready to call tml to see if anythin can be done..
choosing the right career is too hard a decision to make now.. i am nt tt mature really.. growing up.. growing up..
peaceful life w/o worries =D this life wont come! haha..
i will do wat i like in future..
anyw, arsenal really got tt fighting spirit.. they deserve praise.. man utd is jus on a high, i really wish them all the best in EPL n use all their luck in winning the league, European Cup, haha.. it will be AS ROMA's! muahahaha..
Saturday, March 15, 2008
2 wks of course..
course is ending soon.. the wonderland period is going to end.. really soon..
back to the more regimental kind of lifestyle and the "LLST" attitude again..
heard tt kam wai earned himself 19 extras while we were on course.. i wonder how he does tt?!?! nvm.. if he doesnt change his attitude in 1sir, tts wat he will get.. i think he expected it to be coming in the first place..
i am starting to miss ppl here n there.. classmates.. soccer pals..
talking about soccer, i played so many times in PLC during the 2 wk course.. shooting kinda improved a little w practice.. scoring quite a no. of goals.. really nice morale booster..
live firing was really amazing, esp the backblast.. i pity my calves.. i am really glad i hit all my targets - bullseye!! at least i din waste the $2800 given to me. lol
back to the more regimental kind of lifestyle and the "LLST" attitude again..
heard tt kam wai earned himself 19 extras while we were on course.. i wonder how he does tt?!?! nvm.. if he doesnt change his attitude in 1sir, tts wat he will get.. i think he expected it to be coming in the first place..
i am starting to miss ppl here n there.. classmates.. soccer pals..
talking about soccer, i played so many times in PLC during the 2 wk course.. shooting kinda improved a little w practice.. scoring quite a no. of goals.. really nice morale booster..
live firing was really amazing, esp the backblast.. i pity my calves.. i am really glad i hit all my targets - bullseye!! at least i din waste the $2800 given to me. lol
Monday, March 10, 2008
i am back home again with some thoughts
it feels great to be home again.
i really hope i can stop time n stay at this moment :D
listenin to lovely songs while thinking.
my mom did give me a gd wake up call, reality check. hitting right on target for certain issues concerning me. i need to really stay focus. =D
for me to stay focus - a certain maturity is required which often comes with a high degree of seriousness which really destroys the happy side of me. i'll try.
Q
i really hope i can stop time n stay at this moment :D
listenin to lovely songs while thinking.
my mom did give me a gd wake up call, reality check. hitting right on target for certain issues concerning me. i need to really stay focus. =D
for me to stay focus - a certain maturity is required which often comes with a high degree of seriousness which really destroys the happy side of me. i'll try.
Q
Sunday, March 9, 2008
keep on moving
i am back to normal mode again.. i regen health too fast.. or is it someone using health regen on facebook.. i think i am too bored recently to go to facebook n press some buttons. i think i am being irritating mind reading others.. anyw, it is supposed to be irritatingly useful to get in touch w ur frens esp when u havent got any topic to talk abt..
there are weird yet caring ppl arnd, sending me an email encouraging me. thanks ugly bunny! it is more ugly than spastic.. =D at least i have alot of frens.. or i have a few dependable frens.. i am not alone in this lonely world.. (sounds emo)
this wkend, i tried to talk to different ppl i havent been talkin to since god noes when.. it is kinda interesting to communicate w old talking pals.. mayb this is the way to cure my "no life" illness..
there is this immature n mature self in me.. the immature portion is always dominant.. i thank everyone in my life for being there.. i will continue to move forward.. anyw, i kinda like ns even though it gives u all kinda shit.. shit really shit..
there are weird yet caring ppl arnd, sending me an email encouraging me. thanks ugly bunny! it is more ugly than spastic.. =D at least i have alot of frens.. or i have a few dependable frens.. i am not alone in this lonely world.. (sounds emo)
this wkend, i tried to talk to different ppl i havent been talkin to since god noes when.. it is kinda interesting to communicate w old talking pals.. mayb this is the way to cure my "no life" illness..
there is this immature n mature self in me.. the immature portion is always dominant.. i thank everyone in my life for being there.. i will continue to move forward.. anyw, i kinda like ns even though it gives u all kinda shit.. shit really shit..
Saturday, March 8, 2008
trouble at home.. problems w myself..
i was kind of discouraged when i looked up nus to re-apply med. this sinking feeling when i saw the same old pt system which includes PW. i was rejected once, i really dun think i will be shortlisted for interview w the same old grades. even if i was shortlisted, how am i going to speak well when i am not even updated on current affairs, not to say those regarding healthcare. studyin med isnt a passion or anything, it is jus an alternative since i oso duno wat i want.
look ahead, wat career can i get? my mom has been wanting to talk abt my uni re-application since she reached home. i jus get this annoyed feeling tt everytime when i am back home, i will be reminded to do certain things, or get into some discussion which probably wud end up without any conclusion. my parents jus want to noe or assurance wats my final opinion on my uni applications. the discussion which had undergone for several times in the past, will end up without any real conclusion. even i can predict the conclusion - let's set wat we've discussed tonight as the newest update. y do u need so many updates?!? it is jus irritating n draining on me (which i cant explain how).. now my mom is kinda turned off n she left me alone when i raised my voice. she commented tt i shudnt talk to her like how i talk in camp (bringing army back home).. i really dun understand wat my mom is thinking, i guess she is fed up w my attitude too..
i have to agree tt i am much fiercer in camp, talkin to ppl w more authority n kinda unreasonably. but i never even spoke to her in tt manner. i was jus really irritated by her keep wanting to initiate a discussion.
wat to do? i can jus put the blame on myself.. lacking in confidence, inability to look far ahead --> useless me. i jus created problems for myself n got myself into a frustrated state, which den caused trouble at home.. sigh.. frankly speaking, i would rather be in camp now.. a place to escape from these troubles.. i am jus a coward running away. boo me..
look ahead, wat career can i get? my mom has been wanting to talk abt my uni re-application since she reached home. i jus get this annoyed feeling tt everytime when i am back home, i will be reminded to do certain things, or get into some discussion which probably wud end up without any conclusion. my parents jus want to noe or assurance wats my final opinion on my uni applications. the discussion which had undergone for several times in the past, will end up without any real conclusion. even i can predict the conclusion - let's set wat we've discussed tonight as the newest update. y do u need so many updates?!? it is jus irritating n draining on me (which i cant explain how).. now my mom is kinda turned off n she left me alone when i raised my voice. she commented tt i shudnt talk to her like how i talk in camp (bringing army back home).. i really dun understand wat my mom is thinking, i guess she is fed up w my attitude too..
i have to agree tt i am much fiercer in camp, talkin to ppl w more authority n kinda unreasonably. but i never even spoke to her in tt manner. i was jus really irritated by her keep wanting to initiate a discussion.
wat to do? i can jus put the blame on myself.. lacking in confidence, inability to look far ahead --> useless me. i jus created problems for myself n got myself into a frustrated state, which den caused trouble at home.. sigh.. frankly speaking, i would rather be in camp now.. a place to escape from these troubles.. i am jus a coward running away. boo me..
Saturday, February 23, 2008
more time spent in mhc
if mhc isnt one of the worst places arnd, then where will it be?
i am already disgusted by the guard duty arrange for Charlie when i can do 4 guard duties in 7 days. wed skip fri skip sun skip tue. this is the true meaning of burning ur weekend esp when u come back from field camp which already burnt ur previous weekend.
the only fortunate thing here is i am not in Bravo when one can do 3 consecutive days of guard duty. so i wonder how the person actually rests. inhumane?
eugene was given SOL for an offence which i see it as v minor since i also do tt.
3sg has no protection. they only get pressure from everywhere. insults and humiliations come anytime, anywhere regardless if u are right. rank always wins. seniority oso wins. officers will always win specs. play race, play rank, play senioriy, play platoon, play section, play corp, play here play there. fk off..
i will still do my fair share of job even though my complaints pile up everyday. the joy of living in camp is the smile from the jovial recruits. they really make ur day no matter how bad it is.
i am already disgusted by the guard duty arrange for Charlie when i can do 4 guard duties in 7 days. wed skip fri skip sun skip tue. this is the true meaning of burning ur weekend esp when u come back from field camp which already burnt ur previous weekend.
the only fortunate thing here is i am not in Bravo when one can do 3 consecutive days of guard duty. so i wonder how the person actually rests. inhumane?
eugene was given SOL for an offence which i see it as v minor since i also do tt.
3sg has no protection. they only get pressure from everywhere. insults and humiliations come anytime, anywhere regardless if u are right. rank always wins. seniority oso wins. officers will always win specs. play race, play rank, play senioriy, play platoon, play section, play corp, play here play there. fk off..
i will still do my fair share of job even though my complaints pile up everyday. the joy of living in camp is the smile from the jovial recruits. they really make ur day no matter how bad it is.
Friday, February 8, 2008
random?!?!
cascada - truly madly deeply
original song by savage garden.. but i feel tt she sings it better with her style.. kinda more romantic rather than 2 guys singing..
wileen.. gd luck to u.. best wishes for ur new year..
i'll continue to try to forget.. kinda impossible but i'll definitely try harder..
i duno wat to talk abt alr.. mayb edison's photos? he's jus loser who isnt seriously abt r/s, doesnt admit his mistakes n get other girls into trouble. his only interest is in the sexual r/s.. sigh.. pay for ur sins..
twice this guy dialled the wrong number and called me n thinking i am his wife.. haha.. careless mistakes.. kinda funny..
i miss..
original song by savage garden.. but i feel tt she sings it better with her style.. kinda more romantic rather than 2 guys singing..
wileen.. gd luck to u.. best wishes for ur new year..
i'll continue to try to forget.. kinda impossible but i'll definitely try harder..
i duno wat to talk abt alr.. mayb edison's photos? he's jus loser who isnt seriously abt r/s, doesnt admit his mistakes n get other girls into trouble. his only interest is in the sexual r/s.. sigh.. pay for ur sins..
twice this guy dialled the wrong number and called me n thinking i am his wife.. haha.. careless mistakes.. kinda funny..
i miss..
Thursday, February 7, 2008
post cny eve
chinese new year eve
this is the 1st time in many years tt there was a change. no more visiting secondary sch teachers (thanks to 1SIR again) no more boring sch celebrations but now it is replaced by even boring-er celebrations organised by male adults who generally have no life. some may argue tt they club, but i dun think the active night lifestyle is wat i meant by having a life. anyw, still managed to have a reunion dinner.
this dinner is like any other yr's reunion dinner but the surprise was - my aunt's family is staying over! not for 1 but 2 days! woohoo.. (u noe how i feel, do u?)
thinking back, on cny eve 4 yrs ago, it was the 1st time i met up w wileen. the first time i saw her, the first time i gave her a bday present, the first time i really went out w a girl. those memories emotionalize me.. sigh..
nvm nvm.. a new yr ahead, the same days to past..
this is the 1st time in many years tt there was a change. no more visiting secondary sch teachers (thanks to 1SIR again) no more boring sch celebrations but now it is replaced by even boring-er celebrations organised by male adults who generally have no life. some may argue tt they club, but i dun think the active night lifestyle is wat i meant by having a life. anyw, still managed to have a reunion dinner.
this dinner is like any other yr's reunion dinner but the surprise was - my aunt's family is staying over! not for 1 but 2 days! woohoo.. (u noe how i feel, do u?)
thinking back, on cny eve 4 yrs ago, it was the 1st time i met up w wileen. the first time i saw her, the first time i gave her a bday present, the first time i really went out w a girl. those memories emotionalize me.. sigh..
nvm nvm.. a new yr ahead, the same days to past..
Friday, February 1, 2008
no one initiates a conversation w me..
none of my friends want to initiate a conversation w me..
all the sms i've got are from 3sg-s who require updated info on the happening in camp during camp hours. or my mom asking when i am goin home..
ppl like to reply. no one likes to start talking.
sigh.. wat can i do? live with it..
wat comes arnd goes arnd.. everyone gets abit of these n that.. some ppl jus get more..
i am beginning to dislike to be part of tt grp..
all the sms i've got are from 3sg-s who require updated info on the happening in camp during camp hours. or my mom asking when i am goin home..
ppl like to reply. no one likes to start talking.
sigh.. wat can i do? live with it..
wat comes arnd goes arnd.. everyone gets abit of these n that.. some ppl jus get more..
i am beginning to dislike to be part of tt grp..
i am back home!
back on a fri afternoon, rare but true.. i finally managed to take an off.. woohoo..
finally i break myself free from the environment i dislike. no more petty recruits! i will live by my principles.. if you made a mistake, suck it up and serve the punishment. too bad.. it is jus too bad..
somehow 1sir begins to feel like delta.. they jus always disappoint u.. nvm.. jus suck it up and continue with work..
i miss the company from friends.. but no one is arnd for me.. haha.. too bad for me..
well.. i am tired.. home is a place for me to rest finally.. i love it
finally i break myself free from the environment i dislike. no more petty recruits! i will live by my principles.. if you made a mistake, suck it up and serve the punishment. too bad.. it is jus too bad..
somehow 1sir begins to feel like delta.. they jus always disappoint u.. nvm.. jus suck it up and continue with work..
i miss the company from friends.. but no one is arnd for me.. haha.. too bad for me..
well.. i am tired.. home is a place for me to rest finally.. i love it
Saturday, January 26, 2008
dang
it's been a year plus alr n i've received NO comments from anyone.. good.. no one is interested in conversing w me.. mayb they enjoy looking at monologue..
R is for RECRUITS.. when do i look cute? wtf! anyw tts not the main pt.. someone ended up in DB den now transfered to IMH! woohoo, the sadistic charimastic guy is smiling finally! OC at last decided to do a good deed by sending me an asisstant!! woohoo.. my workload decreased!
however whenever OC talks, something bad will come.. the schedule ahead is freaking irritating! wats w the 12k march den a parade? i dun think the REC or even me can take it w 7 plus days outfield n a long march. Talk abt standing still in a parade?!?! wonderful planning again by the first and foremost..
nvm nvm.. it's too late to do anything.. everything is fixed..
R is for RECRUITS.. when do i look cute? wtf! anyw tts not the main pt.. someone ended up in DB den now transfered to IMH! woohoo, the sadistic charimastic guy is smiling finally! OC at last decided to do a good deed by sending me an asisstant!! woohoo.. my workload decreased!
however whenever OC talks, something bad will come.. the schedule ahead is freaking irritating! wats w the 12k march den a parade? i dun think the REC or even me can take it w 7 plus days outfield n a long march. Talk abt standing still in a parade?!?! wonderful planning again by the first and foremost..
nvm nvm.. it's too late to do anything.. everything is fixed..
Sunday, January 20, 2008
guess wat i am back again..
i noe everyone misses reading stuff from me, but i really dun really have time << ok it still makes sense..
anyws, as mr liaw wee loon commented "y u always book out like only 1 day".. sadly but true, my SIR jus dun wanna give me more free time! nvm.. since i advised some not to complain, i shall help her complain.. someone has to be the evil one to complain abt life.. or else who will try to improve life!?! am i jus right or wat!
i felt like a monster on fri night, yelling at every single rec who committed an offence, the slightest offence will receive a loud bombardment followed by some physical training.. i really felt bad tt PS din charge the REC.. nvm.. nvm.. i noe he wont learn, he will have his 2nd chance to be charged.. sorry, i am feeling kinda sadist now.. although when tt REC cried to plead leniency for me, i was a lil soft hearted.. but after a day's thought while doin guard duty, (guard duty "cui" me, so i have to strengthen myself by becoming more cold hearted).. i realise i shud jus whack tt fker hard since he shoot out vulgarities at my face.. personal pride doesnt come first, the chance to charge someone is more exciting.. gd luck.. qk is waiting for his 2nd chance.. i am evil.. thanks to OC..
book out in the morning, book in at night.. there goes my nice break.. wileen's bday is coming.. she wont be free to give me a chance to apply a leave to meet her.. so nvm.. penguin is older again.. how old can she gets man?!?! i really need a person to talk to at night, although my mom is free, i really dun feel like tellin her anythin in case she OVER worries herself n MAGNIFIES the small problem to some MAJOR issue.. nvm.. nvm.. one more wk n i will book out again.. always look on the bright side of qk's life..
i rock
anyws, as mr liaw wee loon commented "y u always book out like only 1 day".. sadly but true, my SIR jus dun wanna give me more free time! nvm.. since i advised some not to complain, i shall help her complain.. someone has to be the evil one to complain abt life.. or else who will try to improve life!?! am i jus right or wat!
i felt like a monster on fri night, yelling at every single rec who committed an offence, the slightest offence will receive a loud bombardment followed by some physical training.. i really felt bad tt PS din charge the REC.. nvm.. nvm.. i noe he wont learn, he will have his 2nd chance to be charged.. sorry, i am feeling kinda sadist now.. although when tt REC cried to plead leniency for me, i was a lil soft hearted.. but after a day's thought while doin guard duty, (guard duty "cui" me, so i have to strengthen myself by becoming more cold hearted).. i realise i shud jus whack tt fker hard since he shoot out vulgarities at my face.. personal pride doesnt come first, the chance to charge someone is more exciting.. gd luck.. qk is waiting for his 2nd chance.. i am evil.. thanks to OC..
book out in the morning, book in at night.. there goes my nice break.. wileen's bday is coming.. she wont be free to give me a chance to apply a leave to meet her.. so nvm.. penguin is older again.. how old can she gets man?!?! i really need a person to talk to at night, although my mom is free, i really dun feel like tellin her anythin in case she OVER worries herself n MAGNIFIES the small problem to some MAJOR issue.. nvm.. nvm.. one more wk n i will book out again.. always look on the bright side of qk's life..
i rock
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
it's a new year
it's a new yr n i think i am expected to have some new yr resolutions or else i wont be able to keep up w the trendy youths nowadays. pop-culture is somethin i think i need to keep pace w or else ppl might say i am some old uncle. wth?! anyw i guess the pop-culture nowadays is so warped. so heck it!
clubbing drinking partying
it's the end of yr with xmas n new yr. so y is there a need for xmas countdown n new yr countdown party? basically it is jus ppl gathering tog drinking dancing making alot of noises or sometimes love? the noise, the booze, the skin n meat. if girls attend these parties dressed w little cloth, y not dun wear at all =D always go extreme!! (random comment)
forget abt the rambling abt these irrelevant topics.. let's get to the pt.. my 10 new yr resolutions
1. be myself
2. drop some bad habits
3. be myself
4. be nice to my family
5. be myself
6. scold my men less
7. be myself
8. stay healthy
9. be myself
last but not least. convince someone to get me a gf
if there is a chance for a eleventh resolution.. i think it would be.. dun lie abt the last resolution.
career (for now)
a lowly paid servant is still paid. tts how u get ur income. so i guess jus do watever is given or arrowed to u n smile. i realise i am a totally diff person w doin work. ppl arent used to my "bankai"s yet. ichigo can stay in tt hollow n remove it as he wishes. so am i!!! but i dun wanna be a strawberry! i guess i would rather be Ulquiorra, so cold. wtf who cares! jus came back from a meal w chuan yuan. a man is a man. totally diff views from an i leader.. mayb i shud think abt wat he said.. but there are too many differences between his views n those under me. the variables for comparisons themselves have too much variance. let's see.. i need a balance..
relationships
familiy - be nice to my parents, my relatives. tts one way to feel gd after work. a weekly gathering is so precious nowadays. even my bday this yr is only spent w my dad. it's hard to get the entire family to b home. everyone is busy w their personal problems. money is something we need to earn. we have to earn it hard. zzz. poor parents.
gf - it's been a year alr. this "there n not there" feeling is still arnd. lonely, qk is lonely, he has nobody for his own!! 2 bdays spent w/o a special someone. the someone not necessarily muz be her (specific) but definitely has to be a her (general). 2 bdays back to back n i am alone. haha. at least i have frens! i have frens! i have frens!
now i guess i am really getting bored. bb.
clubbing drinking partying
it's the end of yr with xmas n new yr. so y is there a need for xmas countdown n new yr countdown party? basically it is jus ppl gathering tog drinking dancing making alot of noises or sometimes love? the noise, the booze, the skin n meat. if girls attend these parties dressed w little cloth, y not dun wear at all =D always go extreme!! (random comment)
forget abt the rambling abt these irrelevant topics.. let's get to the pt.. my 10 new yr resolutions
1. be myself
2. drop some bad habits
3. be myself
4. be nice to my family
5. be myself
6. scold my men less
7. be myself
8. stay healthy
9. be myself
last but not least. convince someone to get me a gf
if there is a chance for a eleventh resolution.. i think it would be.. dun lie abt the last resolution.
career (for now)
a lowly paid servant is still paid. tts how u get ur income. so i guess jus do watever is given or arrowed to u n smile. i realise i am a totally diff person w doin work. ppl arent used to my "bankai"s yet. ichigo can stay in tt hollow n remove it as he wishes. so am i!!! but i dun wanna be a strawberry! i guess i would rather be Ulquiorra, so cold. wtf who cares! jus came back from a meal w chuan yuan. a man is a man. totally diff views from an i leader.. mayb i shud think abt wat he said.. but there are too many differences between his views n those under me. the variables for comparisons themselves have too much variance. let's see.. i need a balance..
relationships
familiy - be nice to my parents, my relatives. tts one way to feel gd after work. a weekly gathering is so precious nowadays. even my bday this yr is only spent w my dad. it's hard to get the entire family to b home. everyone is busy w their personal problems. money is something we need to earn. we have to earn it hard. zzz. poor parents.
gf - it's been a year alr. this "there n not there" feeling is still arnd. lonely, qk is lonely, he has nobody for his own!! 2 bdays spent w/o a special someone. the someone not necessarily muz be her (specific) but definitely has to be a her (general). 2 bdays back to back n i am alone. haha. at least i have frens! i have frens! i have frens!
now i guess i am really getting bored. bb.
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