a case of exaggeration

i guess wednesday's situation can be described as discovering one has the earliest stage of cancer. a case which can be solved. the call i received was somewhat trying to reflect on how serious the issue can blow up to if it wasnt discovered and solved early. i think i handled it quite calmly, wasnt really shaken when i heard i might be charged.

finally the batt was pressurized to give a break. 2+3 days of break. it's really more or less for rest and recovery, esp that ahm. 21km wasnt fun at all. it drained half of my life. chem def and crossing water was quite ok. i need more quality time with people. mayb i shall try visiting my friends (impossible task)

friends
friends
friends

out of nowhere.

i hope the issue which came out of nowhere will be settled by tonight.
i hope i wont get implicated as what i was told.

charge - the worst case scenario
for me

i dont think i am that lucky to get that.
working for such a system isnt safe at all.

well, my "mistake" can get others into trouble too.
sadly tragically unknowningly

it's been quite a long time since..

i blogged!

these few weeks contained quite a number of surprises.

1. learning that i was selected to go for another course. however, it appears that my name wasnt in the list so far. thats really something i wished

2. wearing the MATAS again. this time it was much more comfortable. however the load i carried wasnt really light. i guess i had a pretty decent attempt performing the role of sect comd and gunner. maybe the distance walked wasnt really that much but i managed to tank the weight.

3. people "arrowing" me to do things. people not helping by doing things differently against the rules. people who always bend the rules but insist that i should not. sometimes nsf really doesnt have much say.

today i lost my cool. it is like filling a glass with water. once the water is reaching the brim, someone pours away the water with anger. once again, it can start to be filled again. i admit it is a lousy analogy but anyways, this negative cycle keeps me alive in a miserable place. yeah, 1sir is a miserable place.

today i had a 16km run in the ECP. the run was enjoyable when the few of us ran together, waited for each other. the company of your friends is one of the main factors to keep you going during the mundane run. returning home was really nostalgic.

i asked her for directions and having a chance to talk to her was simply marvelous. seeing the places we went to before near her formal residence brought back wonderful memories. it is the rare few times we could meet which made these memories so unforgetable. flashbacks flood to me resulted an "emo" qk now. lol.

how i wish i could stay at home and not report back to camp. how i wish i could call her tonight and have a chat. haha. that's just my wishful thinking. haha. today is pleasant enough to let me sleep in peace. let's hope for a better tomorrow!

trust

i've placed quite a lot of trust on a few number of people.
i hope my they wont betray it and get me into a really difficult position.

i do have faith in them. just hope that they dont "stun" me.

misplace my trust and i will become really nasty again.