distractions

troubles.. never ending..
trying to understand the topics.. sometimes trying too hard..
worrying abt unnecessary issues..
the tuition grant application.. it used to be nothing to worry abt.. now i have to..
waiting for the reply from ICA.. root of all problems
ppl advising me to apply for an overseas uni and if possible, study abroad..

the reasons they give me are perfectly acceptable and seriously worth considering. however, did they ever think abt the consequences or what might happen if i really fly.
if there is a real intention to fly, it will be wise to just withdraw from the tuition grant scheme. however what if i am not going overseas, then the tuition fees will be a bomb.
fine, i get the tuition fees and i fly. who suffers? my parents. they are held responsible for my voiding of the bond/contract.

it's said that one will know when one grows up. yea, i am feeling all the pressure of growing up. i cant seem to please anyone. it is affecting me somehow.. now.. sigh.. just hope someone can understand me alittle more.. think from my perspective.

i bless myself.

the screwed up round 1c

round 1c of bidding is a total failure. i attribute it to my indecisiveness.. damn i am like a pussy, scared of putting in points.. wtf qk u suck!

i realise i am in some trouble again.. but it can be solved somehow at the expense of something.. a rare chat w my mom gave me some strength.. tts y they always say ur family is always the one u can depend on.. i wont b a bastard to my family members anymore.. this time i am real, i mean it.. i will tell my mom whatever she askes even though i am totally against it.. (contradicting?)

this episode made me realise i am still an immatured kid.. or i should say not fully matured.. i've made some resolutions.. i will fulfil them.. i muz resist all temptations.. i am growing up again?!

well i do see hope in my tutorial grp and the ppl in my bioeng department.. i promise i will cut down on being a nuisance and kpkb less.. make less racist remarks (but i seriously meant it as a joke but not targeting a certain race).. anyw i apologise for my immature behaviour..

optimistic!!!