when bad luck befall on someone, it is a reflex for him/her to lament on his/her misfortune. i wonder if i am living for others or for myself, it seems like recently my life revolves around other, helping them at my own expense. some tells me that it's my duty (double meaning) but what's with this nonsense?! it cant always be me?!
thanks david again, out on attachment. this time on a even more relaxing task, training for running. a daily routine of waking up late, go for runs and training and then back to relaxing. regimental duties are left undone and replaced by his own HQ personnel. to be frank, there is only one person in HQ who is eligible to replace him, one and only me. apart from the regimental duties, his own responsibilities as the PS are passed to me too. it is my duty! my duty!
csm's planning isnt really helpful to me either. why cant he spread my duties and not lump them together in a week or so. 31july, 3aug and 6aug - 3 guard comds with a sunday duty. this is coupled by my aunt's special request to help my cousin who isnt interested in studies but somehow has to take PSLE this year. i just somehow do not understand why he doesnt have that sense of urgency to do well since it is his own examination.
i have to play the role of a babysitter to sit with him and observe him study, teaching him whenever he doesnt know, pass some exam technique and teaching him how to logically think to formulate an answer. facing a disinterested person for an entire is totally like consume slow poison, sucking your vitality bit by bit. remember, my health point (HP) isnt really high after a week in camp. weekend is supposed to be for consuming potions and resting in inns, not to further to decrease my HP. it is not like i have a healer in my party (normally a pretty girl). thanks solo-ing in games arent really effective, it's the same in reality.
helping my cousin is a duty, responsibility according to my mom, thanks the word DUTY comes again. so if my duty is to help others do certain tasks, whose duty is it to help me?!
just look at the past week. it is supposed to be a long weekend, fri sat sun and mon :D wow! fri taken by david's duty. even when i am on duty, CSM doesnt fail to exploit me by asking me to help him tally points and type out the DUTY roster for August at my free time at night while he is relaxing at home. i was supposed to help my cousin on saturday but due to fatigue and being sick, i decided to rest at home. when you are sick, you really dont enjoy much. fri sat gone with sun given to my cousin, which means gone too. monday (today) i couldnt find anyone to go out with, because who will be available on a weekday?! i will spend my day alone at home with the computer or the bed. sigh. it's totally not cool.
then wat about next week when i only have fri sat sun. with a sunday DUTY, it is practically friday night, sat morning till night then i'll book in to prepare for the duty. sigh. i want to have the saturday for myself, or should i give it to my cousin. i totally dont think my life should be this way. it's really negatively screwed up.
Q - the ultimate tanking machine
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