another wk gone..

traumatising wk.. disappointment, dissatisfaction, displeasure..

upon realising 14th (sat) is a company confinement due to some test, my heart sank! there goes my appointment w yien.. it's a rare for ppl to ask me out for something, it is even rarer for yien to ask me to play tennis before meetin up w those in class collecting their award.. it took me sometime to get over tt confinement since there is a day off on monday.. the misery ended while another began.. monday is 16th, den i rmbed i had a guard duty on 16th.. basically i can say goodbye to my day off.. zzz

ippt as i've alr blogged b4, a silver thanks to 9:45 timing for 2.4 run.. 9:44 is a gold timing.. did a SOC full rundown, failed the low rope, demoralised n slacken in the running. 10:41 meant tt i failed both the target timing and a station.. anyw, they will jus rmb tt i FAILED.. gd one.. friday evening OC happily called out names of either ippt gold or SOC pass, for them to book out tt night 10 pm.. the rest which included me, stayed the night and book out nxt morning 10 am.. well every second counts.. my 1s worth 12 hours of freedom!

sigh, i guess i will jus resign to fate.. this yr hasnt been smooth sailing.. A lvls, followed by rejection for medicine shortlist, hoping for $750 pay but got sispec.. it's always tt a little bit more to get wat i want.. it is quite demoralising.. or really demoralising..

the section is gelling tog really well.. most ppl are really cooperative.. some more cooperative than the others.. there were enjoyable bitching sessions every nite.. gossiping.. we even came up w this theory the more u gossip, the shorter u become.. lol.. we are bastards..

F4411 got himself more disliked by the rest.. wk 1 having a bust-up w me, jj and kenneth.. 2nd wk got himself involved w ninja, jj (again), the platoon, a grp of chinese.. some famous quotes

"i tell u u were very rude jus now"
"u den never go bmt, u fking cb +++++" (he spoke too fast in his indian accent)
"fk u! i tell u..."
"eh u y u laughing, lj +++"
"who said tt! own up! fk u +++++"
"all chinese are fkin racist! ++++"
and many more to come.. there are 8 wks remaining..

a hot-tempered kid who is quite cocky and arrogant.. tryin to be smart.. over enthu in a "-ve" way.. some says he has double standards.. when we make a sweeping remark which might involve indians, he ignites like high explosive.. when the 2IC "joked" abt indians.. he kept quiet..

jus like the rifle holding incident.. when sergeant snapped "u think u rambo?" ninja jus added "no la, he tamil tiger" 4411 reacted violently to the tamil tiger.. he kept quiet for the rambo.. zzz

enuf bad-mouthin others.. at least he has his gd pts too.. everyone has gd pts.. my stand stays again.. if no one mess w me.. i shall be nice..

a switch of songs i'm listening to..

i haf to admit i haf no life.. really deprived..

mayb now i am more aware of my roots.. lol.. went to youtube searching for chinese rap.. came across this rap.. when it played.. it simply stunned me.. it was in wuhan dialect.. my own slang which i only used when i am back in china or rarely use when i talk to my parents.. it's on youtube?!?! lol.. there's some comments by youtubers which makes me laugh.. one commented tt it was si chuan dialect.. i jus dun understand y ppl like to comment even when they are WRONG.. lol.. at least someone pointed out it was wuhan dialect.. nt bad.. i duno mayb at tt pt i really felt something close to me.. tt slang.. tt style.. even local informal terms which only locals understand.. i found my home.. how dramatic..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djBLYQhKr3M
i am quite sure some will find it a flop rap attempt or a fk up song esp when u dun understand wat she's talkin abt.. in this way u understand how i feel abt hokkien songs.. or when others speak using dialect to converse in front of me.. u really feel foreign.. mayb tts y u need to accommodate.. minority grps always need to compromise more.. F4411 doesnt understand this concept i guess.. haha.. this world can never be "equal".. i am always having identity crisis..

i wont pledge loyalty to china.. nor i am willing to die for singapore.. my family is more impt than the country.. my love ones are more impt than the land.. generally i am still considered as a foreigner in sg.. n back in china.. i cant adapt to the local culture, esp those of my age grp.. i am not here nor there.. zzz..

talkin abt family.. i felt gd this wk.. there's a night out for arnd 4-5 hours.. i went home.. bought an ice cream for my parents (late father's n mother's day "gift").. the money was spent worthwhile.. it doesnt hurt at all as compared to spending on myself.. my parents looked really happy when they realise i bought them a cake.. surprising gift from a son who always quarrels or "yells" at them..

well.. i have to get myself mentally prepared for the nxt wk.. wk nxt wk gone, only 7 wks left to next posting.. well.. most prob ASLC.. PR gets it.. (tts wat they say)..