another wk.. (routine repeats)

one wk of intensive activities had gone. on hindnote, i guessed it seemed tougher on paper. after experiencing it, everythin looks fine now.

monday's endurance training wasnt v helpful in preparation for tuesday's 16k route march. the number of pushups, jumping jets and buddha claps was physically demanding. it struck me tt i wasnt as fit as i thought i was, esp for the lower limbs. i felt rather demoralised.

it was also one day after med results were released.. the fact tt my frens were approved entry and i wasnt even shortlisted was kinda hard to take. i was v happy 4 them for they got somethin they yearned for. it is the same reason y i felt so down - i didnt get the thing i wanted.

bad things always come at one go.. the discouraged feeling escalated thanx to the songlist in my mp3. it was so immense tt i wrote an journal entry in the bunk. it's so unlike me.

not forgetting the hungry stomach which contributed to the depressed nite. for breakfast, i was oso hungry too. i ate so many pieces of white plain wheat bread. NS changes ppl, for someone like me who will not touch plain bread, gobbling down so many pieces, it was shocking even to me.

it oso didnt help when i started thinkin of her again. i can hardly find any topic to talk to her abt. her uni applications wasnt successful. as usual, it was a topic i wasnt supposed to show concern. once again, she shut me off.

sms - selective messaging system. one can choose not to answer a qn by ignoring a sms. one can ignore a person by not replying a sms. u haf to wait for sms, it eats into time.

i guess i will proceed on.. 16k march.. it was a day of sweating and yelling. after the march, i looked as if i jumped into the swimming pool w my long4. had abrasions but why bother? for the shower.. i even ran up the stairs after sending arms.. the inner thighs were burning, like wat she used to say abt me.. i duno how to take care of myself..
alot of ppl had muscles cramps and aches, i was glad i din haf any except for the abrasion. thanx to all the soccer since sec sch.. always play until calf muscles cramp. i guess my legs are used to the cramps alr. lol.
as for the singing during route march, there were always ppl who doesnt sing. i dont blame them cos it takes energy to sing. they were being "smart" by conserving energy to last the march. i was quite pleased w myself since i sang and yelled esp the last 4 k back to company line. mayb due to the fact i was directly behind 2IC while we marched. i guessed i had to show him tt we were singing, at least those nearest to him so he wont quicken the pace and cause the entire company to suffer. i experienced it during the first 4k, i was the 3 last person.. since i din like tt, i dun want others to exp it. for the good of all.. someone has to suffer.. now, my voice is kinda lost..
lol..

had PC interview since i put no preference for command sch. this makes me wonder wat is the meaning of a leader. everyone has their own definition of the word. mayb i will write abt this in another entry.

the few days after the march, i had lots of running.. ippt.. i passed.. 7 chin ups.. all time highest.. 2.4k - 9min48s, should be my fastest so far.. i could run faster if not becos of the tonner blocking my way, forcing me to stop for awhile. the running boosted my morale abit.. i am FIT!!!

my section is always packed w fun. platoon mates from other sections always visit us for the chinese chess. we even have a paper ball.. lol.. tts so stupid.. there is always a mp3 playing music for the bunk. although the songs were mostly commercialised chinese pop which i dun fancy, i have to say it was still kinda nice.. 13 ppl in the bunk.. more than half likes it.. it doesnt matter.. i haf my own mp3 n my own sorrow music..

time for a rest.. i dun feel like writing anymore..
everything depends on my mood..
looking forward to the class dinner.. hopefully more ppl can go..