a lot of blue days..

unexplanable.. blue days always happened to come..

unable to slp last nite.. took some time drawing something for sergeant lionel.. anyw it was said tt we haf to write somethin for lionel.. no one actually did esp when most of section 2 are playin.. all i rmbed vaguely was someone askin me to draw the card..

sometimes i dun understand y we r doin certain things.. jus for show.. so called designing the card.. it was somethin i did when i had nothin "better" else to do.. i do appreciate the things lionel did for us.. however, i dun think i noe him tt well n i am tt close to him to take the initiative to draw somethin for him esp thinkin some other ppl can do it.. it took so long for everyone to write for him.. to me, it jus gives me the impression ppl write for the sake of writing.. cos one writes so the other writes.. or one writes cos the rest asked him to write.. if there isnt anythin much to write abt.. for me, i feel tt y bother to write?

i noe i wont draw anythin if everyone is arnd.. it is jus nt my style.. doin things alone.. on my own.. only showing product, regardless of it's quality (at least it passed my person quality control).. at least there were some compliments on the pic.. it feels gd.. lol

SOC.. one short n swt comment: i can pass..

i am getting quite sick of NS.. not mainly becos of the training.. the uncomfortable long4 contributes partially to my misery.. ppl in camp have so many kinds of personality w different set of values.. i am quite sure many of them contradict mine.. i guess i am losing patience w some kind of personalities.. more vulgarities are coming out from me.. more snapping at others.. i treasure time alone.. like tuesday nite.. not slpin n drawing stuff..

i cant understand y there are ppl who refuse to sing out loud or cheer loudly.. e.g infantry roar.. since the sergeants alr said do a gd one or else keep doin.. so y not jus shout loudly n use some energy.. the sergeants are only lookin for volume n not content.. the louder the better.. i believe tt there are 2 grps of idiots.. one grp refuses to raise their volume even though warning is given.. the other grp tries to yell louder to cover up.. my voice is kinda dead.. i hate it.. it drains energy even when i speak.. ppl cant even figure out clearly when i speak over the phone.. yucks..

gd luck.. i want my voice back