i am a confused man..

sometimes i duno wat is wrong w me.. yeah.. i think there is a big problem.. which i cant identify..
simply wonderful..
is this part of growing up? or i am jus too immature.. or am i jus starting to mature.. caught in the middle kind of thing.. who noes?!

had a taste of cocktail yst.. y do ppl wanna create cocktail when it is like jus some fruit essence + alcohol.. zzz.. anyw, tt isnt the main issue.. sarah asked me y i din keep to my "vow" of not gonna drink n smoke.. i've broken one of the rules set for myself.. lol

to answer this qn.. interesting.. i am oso quite unsure.. mayb i was jus too pure thinking (for alcohol) after drinking u will lose ur senses n get into trouble? lol.. tt bit of alcohol doesnt hurt much? i think i oso duno y i broke my rules.. i am inconsistent w myself.. self-contradicting..

i think i used to haf a v "kiddo" opinion of this world.. how i shud change it.. being too naive = diggin ur own grave.. like i've told lsd.. i am tryin to be more "evil".. i will.. i will!!! haha.. i doubt it too.. cold-blooded.. i haf to learn to live like a tortoise..

i am becomin more pessimistic..
self-confidence droppin drastically..
seriously.. i prefer tt old self (AB)

give me strength!