纳闷

- can anyone suggest the english equivalent of these 2 chinese characters?
- can anyone suggest another emotion status for my current condition other than these 2 chinese characters?
- can anyone suggest how delta OC should function so that the coy's trainees, including me wont feel the effects of these 2 chinese characters?
- can anyone suggest..?

getting the beret marks another milestone of my NSF career. the pay is still around 50 cents per hour.. so it doesnt really help much when u think u've jumped 2 ranks.. nowadays, ranks are quite worthless unless u reach somewhere near the top..

we did reach the top of the elephant hill after a 4km fast march. the field pack felt much lighter maybe due to the even weight distribution (for once).. the marching pace was really fast, somehow i managed to keep up enduring the pain in my right shin for the initial part.. i even overtook a guy in front of me (i'm in the 3rd row.. lol).. i guess he lagged behind due to the pace.. everyone is for himself, sry, it's a harsh fact.. i tried to "encourage" him to cover up.. but if he couldnt do it.. then i guess die out if he must.. finally the last part of the steep uphill slope was really tedious.. reaching the top was really nice, at least i watched the sunrise.. the beret presentation was secondary, well it was just a show put up by the SAF to mark the promotion of PTE to CPL, in the end, u are still a trainee.. what's the big deal?

the march back to coy line was motivating, thinking of the breakfast, bathing n our well-deserved rest.. the happiness was short-lived. OC decided to take us on a short (2k) run.. followed by a clean fatigue SOC.. take it as training to build up our stamina.. the stupid part was to disturb the other ASLC coy by running to their coy line and perform the stupid the warcry.. if the OC finds joy in disturbing others and to show (wayang) his coy's enthusiasm and unity.. sigh.. maybe he has his own way of thinking - but i couldnt bother less..

the depressing part was the inability to book out on fri night.. given the no. of sat confined due to various "live" trainings.. OC wanted to give us cohesion games.. the idea was there.. but the execution was really messed up.. if he thinks it can gel ppl together, i really applaud his imagination.. low morale soldiers will never achieve the objective easily.. it takes much more effort to get the same results compared to high morale trainees.. i think he understands tt idea but as i've said again, his execution is screwed up..

i can just 'happily' live w this delta coy.. =D is no longer there.. =S is appearing everywhere..
i really appreciate the chinese coming up with the 2 chinese characters UP UP there..