is there any place which is meant for me.. at least for now?

week in week out, PLC and home are my 2 frequent hangouts. the former drains your energy, degenerates your youth and wasting your life away with countless times of non-stop waiting. waiting has become an art, from bslc to aslc, the lvl has increased a dozen folds. i can understand y ppl dislike totalitarian societies. it is jus the case in the normal military context, the higher one sits on the hierachy, the more powerful he is. everyone listens to him even though his orders are insensitively stupid and inflexibly sadistic. uncle sam.. this is the second time this nickname i heard so far during my service. in bmt, uncle sam is 1SG who refuses to punish anyone physically while in sispec, uncle sam is some warrant with his unique set of values. his understandin of care for soldiers is kind of limited but i do acknowledge the fact tt he still has it in him. anyw, i guess he is caught between the rules and welfare for trainees. he has his dilemmas too but for now i seriously cant be bothered by tt.

as for home, i am beginning to dislike it too. returning home for jus 1 day every week means tt i dun really have any feelings attached to it. all i feel now is tt home is a place for me to get away from camp. away from regimental life, but i am sure my mom knows how to remind me of life in camp, reducing my own kind of freedom to her style. reminding me to settle uni application stuff. when the uk deal is halted, now she bugs me w the irish deal, i cant blame her or my aunt who seems to be the driving force behind all these "troubles".

i wonder who i can blame for all the misery i am goin through. of cos misery is a word too harsh and powerful, i cant think of any other word which has the same meaning but on a tone-down scale. anyw, mp3 player is sort of banned. wat gadgets can entertain me for the nxt 6 days? live firing is on monday, (my sat is wasted waiting for those who fired on sat to return to coy line) the gd deal is tt i am appointed as 2ic. no flanking, jus firing and there is a chance of using the grenade launcher. well, try to stay happy. 32k march n river crossing coming up. sigh. it will jus be get dirty n get over w it. it will be over soon. time flies even though u watch time past slowly as u wait.